翻譯： 熱心網友
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后期：見風致
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很久以前 血月之黃昏 Centuries ago, during the dawn of the red moon
我們寧靜的村莊被兇獸所侵 our peaceful hamlet was terrorised
它非人類所生 是由惡魔之塵變化而來 by a beast born not of man, but spewed forth from the fieriest pits of Hades
它厭男喜女 with an evil fuelled by a hatred of men and a love of women.
它就是 卡蜜拉 吸血鬼女皇 Its name: Carmilla, the vampire queen.
她無可匹敵 唯獨懼怕一男人 No one could defeat her, save one man:
一位征戰數十載的十字軍男爵 A baron away for decades fighting in the Crusades.
直到他歸來 男爵發現卡蜜拉 Upon his return, the baron found that Carmilla's desires
已將魔爪觸及他的美妻 伊娃 had ensnared his beautiful wife, Eva
將她變成性的奴隸 and turned her into a lover of the vagine.
不 No!
為了復仇 男爵發誓消滅卡蜜拉 Consumed with vengeance, the baron pledged to destroy Carmilla
并解救村莊 and flee the village.
他取出塵封已久的圣書 耐克魯斯之書 He unearthed the sacred Books of Nekros,
從書里他找到了殺死邪惡的哈皮 where he discovered the only way of slaying
一勞永逸的唯一途徑 鑄造圣劍 this unholy harpy, once and for all, was to forge a sacred sword
一件由古巴比倫大力神祝福的武器 a weapon blessed with an ancient Babylonian hex...
并需染以自身之血 ...and infused with his own blood.
面對卡蜜拉 他毫無懼色 Without fear, he confronted Carmilla.
在男爵打出致命一擊前 But before the baron could strike the fatal blow
卡蜜拉發下了毒誓 Carmilla laid down a curse most vile.
在你擊倒我的一瞬間 你會將邪惡 As you strike me down, so you shall release evil
同我一并植入你女兒的身體 以及你女兒的女兒 within me into your daughters and your daughters' daughters
她們將陰魂不退 直到你族的氣數散盡 and they shall not rest until your bloodline's ended.
她們憑你心口的印記來識別你族 They will know your breed by these marks above your heart.
直到你族最后的血脈 And when the life's blood of the last of your line
與處女之血交融之時 mixes with that of a virgin girl
我將復活 并且是你難以想象的強大 I shall rise again, more powerful than you will ever imagine.
于是 他砍下了她的頭 And with that, he lopped her fucking head off.
從此 村里的所有女孩 Henceforth, every woman in our village
在她18歲生日那天 被詛咒應驗 upon her 18th birthday, is turned by the curse
變成女同志吸血鬼 and reborn a lesbian vampire.
我們的唯一希望就是那個預言 Our only salvation is a prophecy that foretells of the day
當男爵最后的血脈 when the last descendent of the baron's bloodline
回到村莊 永遠解除卡蜜拉的詛咒 shall return to this hamlet and vanquish Carmilla's curse forever.
那一刻 已經開始計時 That time...has begun.
-我很不高興 吉米 -為什么 我做錯了什么 -I'm not happy, Jimmy. -Why? What did I do wrong?
世界在變化 Things are different now to how they used to be.
我剛才已經不再愛你了 不是 我愛你 I just don't love you anymore. No, I love you.
我只是不想去愛你 I'm just not in love with you.
你知道我永遠愛你 You know I'll always love you.
你每次那么說的時候 就想甩我 You say that every time you dump me.
不是我甩你 吉米 我只是需要點時間 I don't dump you, Jimmy. I just take time out
重新估價我們的關系 to re-evaluate the parameters of our relationship.
那使得我們更親密 That's what makes us so strong together.
若我們這么親密 為什么你要甩我 又一次 If we're that strong together, why are you dumping me...again?
不是甩你 距離產生美 I'm not dumping you. I just think we're stronger together apart.
那可說不通 That doesn't make grammatical sense, so...
用你的心去感覺 會知我所言是真 Feel it with your heart, and know what I'm saying is true.
-那么 你打算甩我 -不是 -So...you are dumping me? -No.
某種意義上來講 是的 But, also in a sense, yes.
媽的 Yes! Shit.
我很不高興 弗萊徹 I'm not happy, Fletch.
我盡力了 羅西小姐 I'm trying my best, Miss Rossi.
但離好還差得遠 Your best just isn't good enough.
-你想我怎樣 -那是你的事 -What more do you want me to do? -I don't know.
-我們做個了結 -什么 -This has to be the end of the line. -What?
-我做錯什么 -你打了他的臉 -What did I do wrong? -You punched him in the face.
你知道人家弄臟我的衣服我什么感覺 他弄臟我衣服 You know what I get like when people mess with my shit. He had it coming.
他才7歲 而你是供小孩取樂的小丑 He was seven. You're a children's clown.
已經老到足夠不讓人家弄臟自己的衣服 Old enough to know not to go messing with my shit.
弗萊徹 你打了一個孩子 Fletch, you punched a child.
他用蘇打水噴我 He was spraying me with my own seltzer bottle.
-我怎么辦 -但不是打他這種方式 -What was I supposed to do? -Not hit him.
他不該噴我的 我只是拍了他一下 Then he shouldn't be spraying my ball sac. It was only a tap.
-你弄得他一鼻子血 -我看上去像尿褲子了 -You gave him a bloody nose! -I look like I pissed myself!
天 弗萊徹 我對你徹底無語 Christ, Fletch. I don't know why you do these things.
也許我不太喜歡小孩子 I guess I just don't like kids.
我一直告誡你 他們是重中之重 I keep telling you, they're a pre-requisite of the job.
我知道 小問題而已 I know. A slight problem.
也許我該為大人取樂 Maybe I could just be a clown for adults.
-你被炒了 -我可以保留衣服嗎 -You're fired. -Do I get to keep the costume?
不行 脫下來放在桌子邊 走好 弗萊徹 No. Drop your costume at the desk on the way out. Goodbye, Fletch.
-本周的工資呢 -好走不送 弗萊徹 -Do I get this week's money? -Goodbye, Fletch.
我想到一個令她回心轉意的計劃 I've come up with a plan for getting her back.
像是報復 What, like revenge?
你搞錯了 是回心轉意 不是 灰心轉意 No, getting her back, not "getting her back" getting her back.
回心轉意 第一彈 帶她度假 Getting her back. Number one: Take her on holiday.
停 蠢的可以 Stop there. That's just fucking stupid.
-就我們2人 自力更生 -自力更生 -The two of us, on our own...-On your own?
像那次你們去費利拉基海灘 她甩了你 然后傍上 Like when you went to Falaraki and she dumped you and banged that
帶能量環的滑水教練 water ski instructor with highlights and necklace?
她沒有甩我 她只是說 有點迷惑 She didn't dump me. She told me she was just...confused.
可能迷惑于怎么放他的雞雞吧 Not that confused she couldn't figure out where to put his cock.
-你說的可是我的小可愛 -不再是了 -That's my bird you're talking about. -No. No, it isn't. Not anymore.
你得走出困境 Look, you need to get away from all this shit.
我們來段奇妙的探險 就你和我 Let us have a wacky adventure,you and me.
不是我求你 我感覺你最好放松一下 I'm not gonna bum you, but I think you could use a distraction.
說你喜歡什么吧 但你不能拒絕我喜歡的 Say what you like, but you cannot deny I am incredibly distracting.
-有些令人討厭 -而且 -Some might say annoying. -And that...
我不曉得 你建議我們去哪 I don't know. Where do you suggest we go?
依比薩 lbiza.
太陽 海 沙灘 俱樂部 屁股 The sun, the sea, the sand, clubs and fanny.
大把大把的屁股 一波一波的屁股 Lots and lots of fanny. Loads and loads of fanny.
巨量的那話 A gargantuan amount of "vajay".
都歸你了 吉米 麥拉倫 All wanting to shag you, Jimmy McLaren
如果還多幾個小貓咪的話 均給我好了 and if there's a few stragglers who fancy a go on me, then so be it.
不行 我沒錢了 I can't. I'm skint.
什么 我以為你存了很多錢呢 What? I thought you had loads saved up.
我借給朱迪買車了 Yeah...I lent it to Judy to buy a car.
天哪 你何不在額頭上刻十足笨蛋 Oh, my God! Why don't you just get "total twat" tattooed on your forehead?
你沒見那巫婆給我們造成的麻煩嗎 Can't you see what that witch has done to our lives?
還指望那錢過我的假期呢 我意思 我們的假期 Relied on that money for my holiday. Our holiday, I mean.
-你有多少錢 -厄 -How much have you got? -Um...
其實 我遭搶劫了 Tricky, because I've sort of been sacked.
-你又打了一個女孩 -這次是男孩 -You hit another girl? -It was a boy.
我不想談這事情 I don't want to talk about it.
我們兩個窮光蛋哪里都去不成 So what we're essentially saying is that neither of us can afford to go anywhere.
-絕對 -非常 -Pretty much. -Brilliant.
沒想到是你 Uh, hello. Wasn't expecting you.
-我終于做到了 -做到什么 -I've finally done it! -Done what?
冰上小屋 我全歸你了 甜心 Get the "champers" on ice. I'm all yours, honey.
-哦 地啊 -這次我完美的讓他留守了 -Oh, bloody hell. -I've left him for good this time
你和我找點樂子 so you and me can have fun.
你做到了什么 You've done what?
我們慶祝一下 壞小子 Let's celebrate. Naughty boy!
你他媽是誰 Who the hell are you?
-你他媽是誰 -我是他馬子 -Who the hell are you? -I'm his girlfriend.
真的 我是他老婆 Really? I'm his wife.
沒錯 Right.
-戴夫 回來 -我可沒想 -Dave, get back here! -In my defence,
你發覺 I never meant for you to find out.
-我有一計 -有女孩嗎 -I got a plan. -Does it involve girls?
-很便宜 -不管 有沒有女孩 -It's cheap. -Yeah. Does it involve girls?
我們 去 徒步 Let's...go...hiking.
那 是有史以來最大的狗屎 That...is one of the most depressingly shitty
我一生中從未聽過的度假方式 ideas for a holiday I've ever heard in my life, ever.
-那可是個好主意 -你個雞巴 -It's a great idea. -You're a penis!
地圖指哪 我們去哪 Wherever it lands on the map, we go there.
讓命運之手指引我們 Leave it to the hands of fate.
-你認為如何 -不好 -What do you say? -No.
-會很炫 -會很懸 -It'll be brilliant. -It will be shit.
讓飛鏢決定吧 Let the dart show us the way.
好吧 管他呢 干 All right, then. Fuck it.
我同意是因為對你有信心 I'm only agreeing because I'm feeling for you right now,
還因為我正走霉運 and because I'm unbelievably shit-faced.
投準點 麥拉倫 Throw it like you mean it, McLaren.
從沒聽說過 怎么念的 克拉 I never heard of it. How do you say it? Crag...
克拉威 克拉威治 Cragwi...Cragwich?
那念 冒-險 我的朋友 It's spelled A-D-V-N-T-U-R-E, my friend.
天 你真奶 Christ, you're a tit!
有感覺嗎 Get that?
農村氣息 無與倫比 -Country air. Nothing like it.
聞起來好像奶牛的大便味 Smells like normal air with cow shit in it.
沒錯 無與倫比的糞便氣味 Exactly. Nothing like the pervading stench of faeces
讓你拋卻一切煩惱 to take your mind off your troubles.
除了啤酒你還帶了什么 Have you brought anything besides beer?
你還想干上一炮 You're expecting a water bomb fight or something?
-朱迪 -聽著 吉米 -Judy? -Yes! Look, Jimmy.
我意識到 我犯了個極大的錯誤 I've been thinking, and I realise I've made a terrible mistake.
我想回來 吉米 我 愛你 I want to come back, Jimmy. I...love you.
-什么 -我愛你 -What? -I love you!
喂 Hello?
我聽不清楚 喂 I can't hear...Hello?
朱迪 Judy?
我開車過來 I'll drive to meet you.
我們談談 就我們倆 我們把一切都搞定 We can talk, the two of us. We can work everything out.
那時 你還可以穿我的小褲褲 When I get there, you can wear my panties.
-你干嗎 -我們來此玩徒步的 -Why'd you do that? -We are here to hike.
但 不敢相信你居然這么干 But...I can't fucking believe you just done that!
也許過了點頭 我很抱歉 OK, maybe I did overreact a bit, and I'm sorry.
我會買個新的給你 吉米 I'll, um, buy you another one. Jim...
吉米 Jim!
等等 Hold up a minute.
我們可以休息一下嗎 我腰子疼 Can't we take a little rest? I'm getting a stitch.
我們只走了 3分鐘 We've only been walking for three minutes.
沒錯 但你那不是走 而是跑 Yeah, but you're not walking. You're virtually running.
好像你在生我氣 It's like you're in a mood with me.
-我無法想象為什么 你能嗎 -露出真面目了吧 -I can't imagine why. Can you? -You're getting a real attitude.
-滾開 -你才滾開 -Oh, fuck off. -No, you fuck off.
我不遠萬里到這個 I've dragged my arse to some leafy shit-hole
我念都念不出的地方 而你 I can't even pronounce, for you,
看看你表現得多么不紳士 and look how ungrateful you're being.
不紳士 朱迪剛要與我和好 你把我手機踩得稀巴爛 Ungrateful? You stamped on my phone whilst Judy was trying to make up.
什么 和上7次一樣嗎 What? Like the last seven times?
你好比一精神病房間 用來裝被拋棄的人 You're a mental case holding out for that serial dumper
讓你來 甩來又甩 第八次被甩 to have you back for the...drum roll, please...eighth fucking time.
這就是我們來這里而不是其他地方的原因 That's why we're here rather than somewhere
對那女人 可能遠了點 it might be remotely possible to engage a solitary woman
才會對你有如此禮貌有加的對話 in so much as a polite conversation.
-好像有女人 -那里 牛的 -There might be girls. -Will there? Balls.
多好的機會 What are the chances?
走 吉米 她們從這里出來的 Come on, Jim. They came from there.
-那么 -那么 -Yeah. So? -"So"?
你是太監嗎 Are you some kind of eunuch or something?
是不是那女人劫了你的大腦 卵蛋以及所有 Not bad enough that woman's robbed you of brains, but testicles and all.
抱歉 我申明你的蛋蛋還在這里 I'm sorry. I'm claiming your testicles back.
不 我不是真想你 No...Not that I literally want your test...
那不正常 她們是個好的開端 That's just sick. Look. They're just the beginning.
這些小地方以高素養著稱 These small, rural places are renowned for breeding
比女人身體更好的是新鮮空氣 the crde of the female form. It's the fresh air.
她們就要傍你我這樣的城市小伙 They go a bundle for city boys like you and me. Impressive we are, mate.
我保證這里有成排的漂亮臉蛋 I guarantee this place will be wall to wall with rosy-cheeked
英國鄉村少女 不僅如此 還更浪 English country maidens, like that lot, but even dirtier.
好像是中世紀同性戀酒吧 It's like some sort of medieval gay bar.
別怕 Don't sweat it.
女人們正在某種赤裸儀式上 The womenfolk are all off braiding their hair
在忙著梳辮子 in some kind of naked fertility ceremony or something.
日落后這里一定會站滿大奶子女人 That village green will be full of heaving tits by sundown.
-這些家伙很怪 -放松 -These guys look weird.
這些人跟你我一樣 They're just blokes, like you and I.
他們像是啤酒 喜歡香燭陪伴 They like a beer, enjoy a scented candle.
他們和我是同類人 跟緊我 They're my kind of people. I can relate. Stick with me.
早安 Good morrow.
2壺啤酒 謝謝 先生 Two flagons of ale, please, sir.
來了 There you go.
本店最佳釀 小子們 Compliments of the house, lads.
謝謝 Thank you.
靠近點 伙計 靠近 Keep it together, mate. Keep it together.
我有點擔心 要被強奸了 I'm just a bit worried I'm going to get raped.
還有多少 湯姆 還有多少 So how many more, Tom? How many more?
你別在我面前趾高氣揚 牧師 Don't you be all high and mighty with me, vicar.
我們必須停止這場瘋狂 We have to stop this madness.
-可能是他女兒 -如果不是 肯定是個下流牧師 -Reckon that's his daughter? -If it's not, that's one dirty vicar.
不能再讓無辜的人死去 We can't let more innocent people die!
-那怎么辦 她們會沖我們而來 -你好 -Then what? Then they'll come for us! -Oh. Hi.
沒看見他們已經占大多數 我們的女人被詛咒了 Don't you see they have us already? Our women are cursed
我們卻束手無策 and we are spineless fools who let it happen.
我知道很難 牧師 你的麗貝卡即將18歲 I know it's hard, vicar, what with your Rebecca turning 18...
18 我喜歡 Eighteen? Love it.
團結就是力量 我們非友即敵 Together we can stop this. You are either with me or against me.
好一個二傳手 What a tosser.
誰跟我 Who is with me?
不可能 No, it can't be.
簡直不可能 No, that's impossible.
不可能是你 你叫什么 It can't be you. What is your name?
這可值25英鎊 伙計 Hey, this cost 25 quid, mate!
-夠了 神父 夠了 -爸爸 -That is enough, Father. Enough! -Daddy!
來吧 孩子 Come, child.
他認識你 你和牧師有過節 Does he know you? Have you been hanging out with vicars?
-從來沒見過 -抱歉 小子們 -Never seen him before in my life. -Sorry about that, lads.
這些送你 別往不好的地方想 Here you go. No hard feelings, eh?
替牧師道歉了 他是怪人 Sorry for the vicar. He's a strange sort.
如果你們想今晚過夜 If you lads want a bed for the night,
那邊有個小舍 舊米克拉之所 there be a cottage, the old Mircalla place
沿路下去不到2英里 not two miles down the road.
很好 多少錢 Oh, that's great, but how much is it?
-我們最近手頭有點 -錢 -We're a bit light on the old...-Money.
不用任何東西 大門永遠敞開的 Oh, it don't cost nothing. The doors are always open.
所有旅行者都可得到充足的休息 Any weary traveller can expect a nice, long rest.
你 先生 學者且紳士 You, sir, are a scholar and a gent.
如果有比免費痛飲更好的 就是免費床鋪 If there's one thing I like more than free booze, it's a free bed.
非常感謝 Thank you very much.
會是繁忙的一晚 Might be a bit of a tight squeeze, though.
剛才我指點了幾個年輕美女去那里呢 I sent some beautiful young girls down there not too long ago.
怎么了 What's wrong with it?
來 別現在壞了 Don't break down on us now. Come on!
什么 Come on! What?
-啊 -那可真夠幫忙的 樂天 -Come on! -That'll really help, Lotte.
我們倒霉了 We're screwed.
我們前不著村 后不著店 Great. We're in the middle of nowhere, miles from anywhere.
你肯定加油了 Are you sure you put petrol in?
-安科 第五次了 是的 -檢查一下 - Anke, for the fifth time, yes.
我們走到小舍去吧 應該不遠了 Well, let us walk to the cottage. We must be close.
店主說只是幾英里 The landlord said it was only a few miles.
我們距離酒店更近 We're closer to the inn.
我們該去求助 We should go get help.
對 Ja. Ja.
帶著刀我才去 那些男人是怪胎 I'm only going back there with knives. Those men were freaky.
-我認為我們最好留在車上 -對 -I think we should stay with the van. -Ja.
聽到嗎 Do you hear that?
什么東西 What is it?
外面有東西 There's something out there.
-別嚇我們 樂天 -對 -Stop scaring us, Lotte. -Ja.
聽 Listen, listen!
好像來自車頂 It's coming from the roof!
-也許是樹枝 -樹枝 -It is probably just a branch. -A branch?
我說過 I told you!
-晚上好 小姐們 -抱歉 不是有意嚇你們 -Evening, ladies. -Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.
原諒我們 我們的剛才車子壞了 Excuse us. Our van just broke down,
-我們有點大驚小怪 -現在好了 -and we were a little bit spooked. -Seems OK now.
我是 樂天 Anyhow, hi, I'm Lotte.
這是安科 海蒂 和 楚蒂 This is Anke, Heidi and Trudi.
你好 樂天 安迪 埃里克 大家好 女孩們 Hello, Lotte, Andy, Eric. Hello, girls.
-啤酒 -好啊 -Beer? -Oh,ja!
好 好 好 Ja, ja, ja!
你是我喜歡的型 You're my type of girl.
我叫 弗萊徹 The name's Fletch.
-你叫什么 -那是我兄弟 吉米 -What's your name? -That's my man, Jimmy.
他正心碎著呢 真慘 He's had his heart broken. It's tragic.
真慘 真的 It's just tragic. Really is.
-你好 吉米 -好 -Hello, Jimmy. -All right.
4位女士晚上想做點啥呢 So, what are four lovely ladies like you doing here on a night like this?
我們在去米克拉小舍的路上 We're on our way to the Mircalla cottage.
不同尋常的幸運 There's an uncanny stroke of luck!
這些女孩和我們的目的地一樣 These girls are all going to the exact same cottage that we are.
很好 Great.
-想和我們一起坐車嗎 -謝謝 你們真好人 -Do you want to ride with us? -Thanks. That's very nice of you.
隨便坐 Take a seat.
條條大路通羅馬 When in Rome.
-小心點 -放松 沒事 -Be careful. You know what happens. -Relax. It's fine.
走吧 OK, let's go.
不到1小時前 幾個小伙來過 A couple of young fellows were in here not an hour ago.
已安排他們直沖沿路不到幾英里的小舍 Directed them towards the cottage not a couple of miles down the road.
什么 沿著那路 What? Just carry on down the road?
沒錯 沿路直行 不會看不到的 There you go, miss. Carry straight on down, and you can't fail to see it.
她現在還是漂亮的那個 Now, she was a pretty one.
她們一直如此 西德尼 They always are, Sidney.
塞壬 冰冷的誘人惡魔 Sirens. Cold, bewitching demons, every last one of them.
再來1品脫 杰克 Pint, Jack?
-這地方真奇妙 -我愛它 -Wow. This place is amazing! -Oh, I love it!
-酷 -他們有啤酒 -Oh, cool! -They got beers!
我們真的可以入住嗎 Can we actually move here?
-沒錯 -讓我們入住吧 -Yes! -Yes, let's move in!
-來點杜松子酒 -搖起來 滾起來 -We need Schnapps! -Rack 'em up! Rack 'em up!
棒極了 All right! Yes!
吉小子 見底 J man, bottoms up!
-喝見底 -雞雞入 -Bottoms up! -Cocks in.
跳舞吧 Oh, yummy! Let's dance!
這會是我操蛋人生最盡興的一晚 This might be the best night of my entire fucking life!
留點空間給 弗萊徹大師 好 好 Room for the Fletchmeister? Yes? Yes?
我愛徒步 I love hiking!
知道卡蜜拉嗎 Do you know of Carmilla?
-不知 是什么人 -很好 -Uh, no. Is that who it is? -Yes.
-卡蜜拉.她才是我們此行的目的 -嗯 -Carmilla. She's why we're all here. -Eh?
我們是民間傳說與古迷信在讀學生 We're students of folklore and ancient superstition.
這次是實地考察實習 We're on a field trip.
這里是卡蜜拉傳奇的起源地 吸血鬼女皇 This village is home to the legend of Carmilla, the vampire queen.
-吸血鬼女皇 -根據傳說 -Vampire queen? -According to legend,
她已經超越了普通吸血鬼 she's much, much more than just your average vampire queen.
據傳她超過2000歲 Some say she's 2,000 years old.
你相信龍與地下城那堆垃圾 You believe in that Dungeons & Dragons rubbish?
我們在那里長大 都特別迷信 Where I grew up, we're very superstitious.
克拉威治 于我特別有吸引力 Cragwich is particularly fascinating to me.
有書記載了這一切 The book of folklore tells the story of this village,
卡蜜拉對其女兒所作所為 and what Carmilla did to it and its daughters.
最勇敢的男人帶著恐懼退縮 最勇敢的女人則 Even the bravest man shrinks in fear, and the bravest woman
既害怕又渴望 只要一提卡蜜拉之名 quivers with desire at the mere mention of her name.
卡蜜拉 吸血鬼女皇 Carmilla, the vampire queen.
來呀 飲酒作樂 Come on. Get a beer. Get involved.
該你去抓大頭了 It is your turn to go with the larger one.
-飲太多啤酒了 我要去噓噓 -外面很亂呢 -Too many beers. I need a piss. -The bog's outside.
什么 外面 外面很黑 What? It's...It's dark out there.
海蒂 你怕了 卡蜜拉 要來抓你了 Heidi, are you afraid Carmilla will get you?
-安科 別要 -好吧 對不起 -Anke, don't be mean. -OK, OK, I'm sorry.
-別擔心 我跟她一起去 -別 -Don't worry. I will go with her.
-啤酒來了. 呀 -噢 呀 -Here come the beers. Ja? -Ooh,ja!
他是個怪胎 弗萊徹 He's a weird guy, Fletch, eh?
她假裝求我 She's pretending to bum me.
他的心臟在右邊 Oh, his heart's in the right place.
真可恥 他用下身思考 It's just a shame his brain's in his dick.
-他的陰陽夠大嗎 -陰陽 Think his ying yang is big?
很好 你決定選哪個 All right. Which one do you want, then?
從沒想過 Haven't thought about it.
噢 你個皮條 詹姆斯 Oh! You are such a fucking ponce, James.
你最喜歡哪個 最喜歡的那個 Which one do you fancy? Which one do you like the most?
-回答問題 -好吧 樂天 -Just answer the question. -All right, then. Lotte.
-她漂亮且友好 -嘸 -She seems really nice and friendly. -Mm-hmm.
而且她思想純潔 And it's like she's got this pure spirit.
她甜蜜有加 她有最美麗的雙眼 She's just really sweet. She's got the prettiest eyes.
像清澈見底的水池 It's like looking into bottomless pools.
-你呢 -楚蒂 -And you? -Trudi.
大奶子 悶騷子 Massive tits, never speaks.
楚蒂 你很臭 Yeah, Trudi, you stink.
呀. 呀 Ja. Ja.
噢 呀 Oh,ja.
快點 Hurry up!
安科 Anke.
安科 Anke?
-安科 別 一點也不好玩 -海蒂 -Anke, stop it. It isn't funny.
操 Fuck!
安科 答應我 不好玩啦 Anke, answer me now. It's not funny.
安科 Anke!
安科 Anke?
安科 安科 Anke? Anke!
怎么這么久 Why are they taking so long?
可能在撇大條呢 She's probably just having a massive shit.
楚蒂 Trudi.
快 Quickly!
楚蒂 我們得進去 Trudi! We've got to get in there!
靠后站 OK. Stand back.
天 這玩藝象石頭 Christ. That thing is rock-solid.
-我真弱 -對 -I must have weakened it. -Yeah, right.
-看 -血跡 -Look. -Blood.
來 Come.
什么東西 What was that?
不曉得 去查明真相 I don't know, but let's go find out.
-她來真的 -我們得有所行動 -Is she serious? -We have to do something, don't we?
太奇怪了 女人失蹤 毛巾沾血 This is all getting a bit weird: Women missing, towels covered in blood.
-不止燈光這么簡單 -噢 好吧 -It's more of a light spotting. -Oh, that's all right, then.
我們聽見她在里面 現在又找不到蹤影 We heard her in here, and now she's nowhere.
-非常怪異 -是的 但我們得找到楚蒂 -That is very fucking weird. -Agreed, but we have to find Trudi.
-你喜歡楚蒂 是嗎 -那還不至于 -You like Trudi, don't you? -Not that much.
那才是真的弱 兄弟 That's just weak, man.
老天吶 For Christ's sake.
噢 天 Oh, God!
老天吶 For God's sake!
上周才保養過 I only got it seen to last week.
噢 啟動 Oh, my...Oh, come on!
您正與吉米通話 有事請留言 Hi. You're through to Jimmy. Please leave a message.
你死定了 吉米 You are so dead, Jimmy!
朱迪 Judy.
朱迪. 朱迪 Judy. Judy.
安科 Anke!
海蒂 楚蒂 Heidi? Trudi?
-有發現 -沒有 -Anything? -No.
很好 好像她走了 Ah, well. Looks like she's gone.
不如進屋喝杯茶 Head back inside, eh? Cup of tea?
-說過外面沒人 -楚蒂 -Told you there was no one out here. -Trudi?
也許只是外出散步 或其它的 Probably just gone for a walk or...something.
我們進屋吧 我還留有啤酒 Let's head inside. I've still got some beers.
我操 Oh, shit!
樂天 Lotte.
-在那邊 -我也聽到了 -It's over there. -I heard it too.
我知事情非常不對勁 Look. I know something really wrong is happening here,
但若我們置之不理可能還有機會 but is there any chance we can just ignore it?
弗萊徹 過來 Fletch! Come on!
簡直不可能 吸血鬼 It's impossible. It cannot be. Vampires.
-吸血鬼 -吸血鬼 -Vampires? -Vampires?
女同志 吸血鬼 Lesbian vampires.
漂亮 Nice one.
辣塊媽媽 她很強 Fucking hell, she's strong.
吉米 Jimmy!
-干 -吉米 -Shit. -Jimmy!
她現在可不強了 She's not so strong now.
得分 Ah! Rank!
就這么完了 Is that it?
沒有爆炸 也 No explosion or...
沒有燒成灰 也 什么都沒有 ...turning into burning ash or...Nothing, no?
老實講 我很失望 Frankly, I'm a bit disappointed.
很高興她掛了 我堅持不了了 I'm just glad she's dead. I can hold out for fireworks.
傳說 是真的 The legends...they're true.
太瘋狂了 This is madness.
-我的朋友們變成什么了 -樂天 -What's become of my friends?
啊 抓狂 Oh, crap.
-加入我們 -加入我們 -Join us. -Join us.
我感覺她們想你有點表示 I think they want you to say something.
決不 Never.
貌似她們不想你這么說 Don't think they wanted you to say that.
干 快跑 伙計們 Fuck this! Run, you bellends!
來呀 變態老 Come on, you silly fuckers!
現在你們將加入我們 Now you will join us.
進去 Get in.
啊 天哪 你們看見了嗎 Oh, my God! Did you see that?
那是我整個操蛋人生最酷的事 That might be the coolest thing I've done in my entire fucking life.
我擅長板球 今次變成我的武器 I've always been good at cricket. Maybe it's my guns.
-弗萊徹 閉嘴 -抱歉 我很緊張 -Fletch, please shut up. -Sorry, I'm just nervous.
她們要活吃我們 糟了 They'd have eaten us alive. This is fucked up!
她們人呢 Where did they go?
日出前 你們會屬于我們 Before sunrise, you will all belong to us.
干 干 干 我們怎么辦 Shit, shit, shit, shit. What are we going to do?
-我們會死得很難看 -天哪 你一點用也沒有 -We're going to die horribly. -For Christ sake. You're not helping.
-冷靜 飲啤酒 -我們需要突圍 -Calm down. Have a beer. -We need to get out of here!
-想個計劃吧 愛因斯坦 -有了 車子 -Come up with a plan then, Einstein. -Hold on. The van.
車子 好計劃 偉大的計劃 The van. Good plan. Great plan.
天才 Genius.
我連想都懶得想 I don't even want to know.
現在怎么辦 What are we going to do now?
刺棒 很多尖刺棒 Stakes. Lots of sharp stakes.
裝備任何可以刺穿心臟的武器 Arm ourselves with anything we can plunge through their hearts.
又來了 偉大的主意 我喜歡 Again, great idea. Like it.
用刺棒刺婊子們的心臟 我們媽的動手吧 Plunging sharp objects. Hell-whore hearts. Let's fucking have it.
-吉米 -朱迪 Jimmy! -Judy?
什么 別開特媽的門 上帝 What? Don't open the fucking door! Jesus!
-朱迪 快進來 -啊 我的上帝 -Judy, get in, quick. -Oh, my God!
-發生什么鬼事了 -你怎么來了 -What the hell is going on? -What are you doing here?
-有東西追我 -吸血鬼 -Something was chasing me. -Vampires.
-什么 -對 女同志 吸血鬼 -What? -Yep. Lesbian vampires.
-荒唐 -決不 -How ridiculous. -No.
上帝又在玩弄我 Just another of God's cruel tricks to get on my tits.
女鬼才死就相互干上了 Even dead women would sooner sleep with each other than get with me.
-連吃都不吃我 好極了 -女同志 吸血鬼 -But eating me alive? Oh, that's fine. -Lesbian vampires?
下回一定會弄個同志狼人出來 我發誓 Next time he'll have me bummed by a big gay werewolf, I swear.
過來 躺一會 Come on. We need to lie down.
-那是誰 -是吉米的前.. -Who's that? -Oh, it's Jimmy's ex.
她不斷與他分手 再和好 She keeps breaking up with him, getting him back
分手再和好 明白 breaking up with him, getting him back, you know?
-我討厭她 -我也是 -I hate her. -Me too.
讓我很不爽 Man, this pisses me off.
我以為找到了真命天子 I've been saving myself for the right man,
一個能讓我傾注真情的人 someone I can really have feelings for.
-我終于找到了他 但 -你喜歡 吉米 -I finally meet him, and...-What, you like Jimmy?
是的 但介于她和吸血鬼之間 Yes, I do. But between her and the vampires,
今晚我要失去處女之身 I'll probably die a virgin tonight.
你是處女 You're a virgin?
對 Um, yeah.
天哪 女孩 穿穿好 Oh, for God's sake, girl. Cover yourself up.
爸爸 我不再是個孩子了 Daddy, I'm not a child any more.
-別惹我 小女孩 -哇 -Don't try me, girl. -Oh!
吉米 我知道你非常有理由恨我 Jimmy, I know you have every right to hate me
但我想你知 but I just want you to know
你讓我進門后我很高興 that I'm so happy you let me through the door.
我不恨你 也不完全是 Well, I don't hate you. Well, not completely.
我只是不知道我怎么惹你不高興了 I just don't know what I keep doing you don't like.
與你無關 吉米 是我的問題 It's not you, Jimmy. It's me.
很高興你有認識 但如果要和好 I'm glad you realise that, because if this is gonna work,
-你得有所改變 -噢 我已經變了 -you're gonna have to change. -Oh, I've changed.
怎么變 我如何知道呢 But how...How do I know that?
我怎么去相信你 展示下你的不同之處吧 How can I trust you? You're gonna have to show me you're different.
噢 我已經與眾不同了 Oh, I'm different.
給我一個 最后之吻 Give me one...last...kiss.
你還是記得她從前的樣子比較好 Probably best you remember her the way she was, mate.
徹底的婊子 哈 A complete fucking bitch. Aah.
謝謝救我命 Mate, thanks for saving my life.
你最了解我了 伙計 Hey, you know me, fella.
我做你的后盾 永遠是 一直是 I got your back. Always have, always will.
-搞定她們 -你干嗎 -Right, got 'em. -What are you doing?
-你想什么呢 -干嗎 樂天 不是要 -What do you think? -What, Lotte was gonna...
你知道他們所謂的最差狀況 You know what they say about extreme situations.
而現在 如我所說 And this, as I keep pointing out,
我的朋友 現在就已經是最差狀況 my friend, is an extreme fucking situation.
-還沒有那么糟吧 -她只擔心那個處女 -Bit seedy, isn't it? -She's worried she'll die a virgin
坦白講 任何機會我都不會放過的 and frankly, I'm willing to take any opportunity I can get.
感情的弱點 害怕即將來臨的死亡 吸血鬼攻擊 Emotional vulnerability, fear of imminent death, vampire attacks.
我才不管那么多 Screw it. I don't give a shit. Hi.
你還好嗎 How are you doing?
-怎么了 -厄 -What happened? -Oh, God. Um...
如我所料 As I suspected
-朱迪 是吸血鬼 -我們殺了她 -Judy was a vampire. -We killed her.
真奇妙 Fantastic.
-我要去噓噓 -什么 去外面 -Um, I'm going for a piss. -What, outside?
我像電燈泡嗎 Do I look like a twat?
啊 天 啊 天 啊 天 啊 天殺的 Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, gosh!
啊 天 啊 天 Oh, God! Oh, God!
她們為什么不進來 朱迪 就進來過 Why aren't they coming in? Judy walked in.
因為她們沒有被邀請 你邀請過 朱迪 入屋 No, they have to be invited in. You invited Judy in.
所以我們只需安坐到黎明 So all we have to do is sit tight till morning.
我意思 只要我不說 I mean, It's not like I'm gonna say
嘿 女同志 吸血鬼 入我屋來 是吧 糟 "Hey, lesbian vampires, come into my cottage", is it? Oh, shit!
被女同志吸血鬼全面攻擊 Under full-on lesbian vampire attack?
卻還搞得定 伙計 Still got it, fella.
看看 我是說的反話 Look, I was being ironic.
大家們 Guys?
麥拉倫 McLaren.
-她知道我名字 -不祥的預兆 -She knows my name. -That's not a good sign.
她很純潔 She is pure.
弗萊徹 Fletch!
完事之后 When in Rome...
-離他遠點 -滾開 -Get away from him. -Fuck off!
-很好 -把她弄進淋浴 -Nice. -Get her into the shower.
快 快 Quick! Quick!
快 打開 Quick! Turn it on!
我父 天堂之主宰 以汝之威名 Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
汝之國度降臨 汝必終結 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth...
天賜我時 推她回去 她必須保持在水下 Give us this day...Push her back! She must stay underwater.
推她回去 推她回去到 Push her back! Push her back under.
-天哪 -保持在水下 別讓她出來 -Oh, God! -Keep her under! Don't let her go!
引領我等不受魅惑 遠離邪惡 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil
只要我們原諒犯我者 as we forgive those who trespass against us...
-滾開 -繼續 -Fuck off! -Keep going.
干他娘 Fucking hell!
普天之下 莫非王土 耶穌命你 For Thine is the kingdom. Jesus compels you!
天哪 我愛耶穌 我愛你 耶穌 Oh, God, I love Jesus! I love you, Jesus.
-榮耀永遠 -物燦文華 -And the glory forever. -All things bright and beautiful!
永遠之永遠 Forever and ever.
阿門 Amen.
搞毛 What the fuck?
我們得快 你朋友們被抓住了 We need to go quickly. Your friends have already been taken.
-頂你個肺 -沒有時間了 走 -Ah, shite. -There's no time to waste. Let's go!
稍等 你怎么料事如神 Hang on. How did you know all this was happening?
你與你友是被當成祭品的 You and your friends were sent as sacrifices.
一直以來 村民進貢鮮血 It's an age-old deal, where the villagers supply fresh blood.
作為回報 可保他們的小命 In return, they get to keep their cowardly hides.
所以我們只是這些同性戀的自助餐 So we were just a light buffet for a bunch of hot dykes?
很遺憾 沒錯 你朋友并非偶然到我們村 To my shame, yes. Your friend's arrival in our hamlet is no coincidence.
是天神約定 起因于古預言 It's divine intervention fulfilling a primordial prophecy.
-球 -他是否身有胎記 -Balls! -Does he bear a birthmark?
-5條紅印 -是的 -Five red scratches around here? -Yeah.
他的血脈是復活的鑰匙 His bloodline is the key to the resurrection
人類已知最純凈的邪惡 卡蜜拉 吸血鬼女皇 of the purest evil known to mankind: Carmilla, the vampire queen.
只有如此 才能使本村 Paradoxically, the only thing that can lift this village
免于百多年來對女人的詛咒 from a centuries-old curse that turns every woman
就是年滿18會變成吸血鬼 on her 18th birthday into a vampire.
我女兒 麗貝卡 馬上就要年滿18了 My daughter, Rebecca, becomes 18 within hours.
好吧 我很了解你意思 真的 Right. Look, I know you mean well. I really do.
我喜歡這調調 你很困惑 但 And I love the vibe. You look amazing. But...
就我之前的遭遇 在此種情況下 I've seen weird shit,
什么都當成救命稻草 and even under these circumstances this is a stretch.
吉米并非救世主 他自己的爛攤子都收拾不了 Jimmy's not the Messiah. He can barely wipe his own arse.
我明白你的困惑 我們開路吧 I understand your confusion. Let's be on our way.
喔 喔 喔 喔 喔 老爹 去哪 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Daddy-o. Go where?
-回村子 沒時間了 -干那鳥語 -Back to the village. No time to waste. -Fuck that noise.
-不好意思 -我才不回去 -I'm sorry? -I'm not going back out there.
我差點被我所遇最熱辣的女人 吃掉3回 I've nearly been eaten three times by the hottest women I've ever met.
差點上賊船 Starting to become a bind.
現在救你的朋友還為時不晚 還有這村子 這世界 But it's not too late to save your friends, this village, the entire world!
好吧 祝你好運 Yeah, well, you know, best of luck with it.
-祝你萬事如意 -你跟我搞 -I hope you get on all right. -Are you fucking with me?
-你可發誓 -閉嘴 -Are you allowed to swear? -Shut up.
你寧可讓永恒的黑暗席卷我們的地球 You telling me you'd let eternal darkness sweep over this entire planet
讓你朋友去送死 你的朋友 and leave your friends to die? Your friends?
我了解 吉米 今晚才認識的女孩 所以 Well, I only really know Jimmy. I just met the girl tonight. So...
留下等死吧 OK. Stay here and die.
血印有何講究 What's with all the scratches?
十字架 能驅惡物 The cruciform. It drives the beasts away.
-跟屎一樣 -只管進來 -It looks shit. -Just get in.
好了 印子大師 我們去干他娘的哪里 OK, scratch master. Where the fuck are we going?
你朋友偉大先人之墓 The tomb of your friend's great ancestor.
弗萊徹 Fletch!
姐妹們 Sisters
我們日夜渴望的那一刻 a moment that has infested our dreams and our desires
猶如無盡之永恒 for what seems like an eternity...
終于到頭了 ...is finally upon us.
今夜 For this night
麥拉倫 家族最后的血脈將盡 the last of the McLaren clan shall fall
我們的女皇東山再起 and our queen shall rise again.
-卡蜜拉 -吸血鬼女皇 -Carmilla? -The vampire queen?
不好意思 繼續 Sorry. Carry on.
他的血和我的處女之血 能使她復活 So his blood mixed with my virgin blood brings her back?
你知道得很多啊 美女 You know a lot, pretty one.
我對卡蜜拉有所聞 但卻從未聽聞你 I've heard of Carmilla, but never have I heard of you.
很明顯 你還不夠格載入古冊 Obviously you're not evil enough to even make the history books.
好 Well...
她馬上就認識你 soon she will know of you.
她復活后 世界將永入無盡的 And with her resurrection, this land will be ensnared forever
血月的黃昏 in the dawn of the red moon.
麥拉倫 你沒多久可以活了 McLaren, these are your final moments on earth.
哦 Oh. Mmm.
男爵 剛狼 麥拉倫 3世 最后的棲身之所 The final resting place of Baron Wolfgang McLaren III.
吉米是我攪和進來的原因 Jimmy's the reason I ended up in this shit-hole?
他是我們的救星和希望 He is our salvation and our only hope.
預言說當麥拉倫 家族最后的血脈來臨時 The prophesy foretold of when the last of the McLaren clan would return.
其血與處女之血混合 卡蜜拉 會復活 With his blood and that of a virgin, Carmilla shall rise again.
墳墓之下是武器 Concealed within this tomb is the weapon
可以永遠殺死那惡人 迪歐多之劍 that can slay the beast forever: The sword of Daeldo.
-那是什么 -迪歐多 淫欲之神 -And what's that, then? -Daeldo, the god of lust,
據說卡蜜拉在地獄的死敵 said to be Carmilla's arch demonic foe in the underworld of Hades.
是一只巨丑的多爪怪 A hideous multi-tentacled beast.
只有它才夠勇猛刺穿 The only being brave enough to have tried to penetrate
卡蜜拉的深處 他需以死相抵 Carmilla's vilest depths, and paid for it with his life.
我直說吧 你計劃是 Let me get this straight. Your plan is,
等那婊子復活后 用那個隨便什么劍刺她 wait for this bitch to be resurrected, stake her with the sword of whatever
如此救我命 救你女兒 結束詛咒 thus rescuing my mate, curing your daughter, ending the curse
-拯救地球 -正確 那么你跟我嗎 -and saving the planet. -Exactly. So, are you with me?
說真的 我還有的選嗎 有嗎 Not really. I ain't got much fucking choice, have I?
你來干 我需要去看我的麗貝卡 You do this. I need to check on my Rebecca.
什么 現在我還要挖死尸 What? Now I've got to unearth a corpse?
-墳墓里面藏的是 -別滔滔不絕了 -Concealed within this tomb is...-Yeah, yeah. Save me the monologues.
絕對是我最戇的假期 This is officially the worst holiday ever.
-會有血月 -忘了血月吧 -So there's a red moon, right? -Forget about the red moon.
她說最后的麥拉倫會死 She said the last McLaren will fall.
對 差點忘了這茬 Yeah, I kind of missed that bit.
那么 Oh. Well...
那不就是我嘛 那 噢 胡說 That'll be me, then. Oh, bollocks.
閉嘴 我在思考 Shut up. I'm thinking.
此時此刻 你還能想什么 What can you be thinking about at a time like this?
-如何逃脫 -好極了 有主意嗎 -How we are going to escape. -Fantastic. Any ideas?
-沒有 你呢 -屁都沒有 -No, have you? -Not a fucking sausage.
努力想 Come on, think!
對這個脫離計劃我七竅生煙著呢 I'm too busy shitting myself to come up with a daring escape plan.
-你很可愛 -毛 -You're cute. -What?
我們第一次爭吵 It's our first argument.
維克 我們糟了 打不開 Vic, we're doomed. That ain't opening.
走開 Move.
以我意見 我試另外一邊 所以 In my defence, I only tried that side, so...
-你下去 小子 -請原諒 -You go down there, my boy. -Excuse me?
-沒時間浪費了 快 -不如你下去 -There's no time to waste. Hurry up. -Well, you go down, then.
我 難以置信 又不是我女兒 Oh, my...Unbelievable. It's not my daughter.
-看見劍了嗎 -給我點時間 拜托 -Can you see the sword? -Give me a minute, please.
我第一次 進墳墓 墓穴 石頭 It's my first time in a tomb...grave...stone.
怎么了 What? What is it?
沒什么 It's nothing.
那里有什么好笑 What's so funny in there?
手柄是一只巨大的金屬雞雞 It's got a big metal cock for a handle.
成熟點 手柄是 淫神迪歐多的力量之源 Grow up! The handle draws on the power of the demon Daeldo
只有此劍可以永遠摧毀女皇 rendering this blade alone capable of destroying her once and for all.
-什么 怎么弄 -它就是行 明白 -What? How? -Itjust does, OK?
我們去那里 然后死在那里 是不是 We're gonna go there, and we're gonna to die, right?
都是因為你堅持此劍 All because you insist some sword,
末端有個金屬雞雞 可以拯救世界 with a metal cock on the end, can save the world?
-你很丟臉 -至少我還看得到有趣的一面 -You're a disgrace. -At least I can see the funny side.
我們把事情做完 我帶劍 你掩護男爵 Let's get on with the job. I'll load up on weapons. You cover the baron up.
你得承認那看起來就是一只雞雞 Will you just admit it does look like a cock?
吉米 我可以告白嗎 Jimmy, can I tell you something?
-你想到計劃了 -沒有 我還在想 -Have you come up with a plan? -No, I'm still thinking.
我覺得我們時間不多了 I think we're running out of time.
我只想說我們相遇不逢時 I just wanted to say that had we met under different circumstances,
我想對你了解更多 I would've liked to have gotten to know you.
-真的 -真的 -Really? -Yes.
其實 雖然我們只共度了幾小時 In fact, even though we've just spent a few hours together,
但卻感覺好像一生一世 I feel like I've known you forever.
-真的 -真的 -Really? -Yes.
你我心有靈犀 I thought you might have picked up on my signals.
犀 犀牛 我錯過了什么 Signals? What signals? What did I miss?
吉米 我愛你 Jimmy, I love you.
-她媽太好了 -我不是故意引你難過 -Well, that's just fucking great. -I didn't mean to upset you.
-馬上就要死了 你還那么說 -我一定要讓你知道 -On the brink of death, you say that? -I can't die without letting you know
你是第一個我可以全身心奉獻的男人 you're the first man I could share myself with completely.
-天吶 -我奉獻你一切 -Oh, for Christ's sake. -I would've given you everything:
我的思想 靈魂 和身體 My mind, soul and body.
-身體 嘸 -然而都不可能了 -And body. Hmm. -And now that'll never be.
-時間到 -老天 -It is time. - Oh, God!
-那是我的老二 -滾開 婊子們 他是我的 -That's my penis. -Get off him, you bitch! He's mine!
什么 你剛才說什么 What? What did you just say?
你叫我什么 一塊肥肥的什么 You called me a what? I'm a fat piece of what?
沒人可以糊弄弗萊徹大師 還有他的雞雞劍 No one messes with the Fletchmeister and his cock sword.
你好 我可沒有 厄 Oh, hello. Um, I wasn't doing, um...
不是星球大戰 啊 吐吐 我沒有 Star Wars is not, uh...Aah! Chewie. I wasn't...
你在干嘛 你不該來此 What are you doing out? You probably shouldn't be out here.
我知 I know.
-你生日 -今天 -So, it's your birthday? -Today.
午夜已過 It's just gone midnight.
一切 已 成熟 All...grown...up.
-你18了 -嗯 -So you're 18? -Uh-huh.
-老爹不同意 -啊 -But Daddy wouldn't approve anyway. -Oh.
爸爸 Daddy!
弗萊徹 Fletch!
-好了 -好了 -Ready? -Yep.
我們還有點時間 我的麗貝卡馬上要變了 We have little time. My Rebecca will soon be taken.
你遺傳了他的雙眼 You have his eyes.
我曾愛過的那眼 I used to love those eyes.
直到我懂男人多可憐 Until I learned how pathetic men are.
贊 Mmm! Exquisite.
我會讓你慢慢流血 讓 卡蜜拉 食 I will bleed you slowly and let Carmilla feed upon your flesh
從你溫暖的血管之中 while it is still warm in your veins.
月亮變紅了 復活開始了 Look, the moon bleeds. The resurrection has begun.
拿好圣水 Here. Holy water.
那就像她媽的強酸手雷 It's like a fucking hand grenade of acid.
-你又說她媽的 -怎么 -You said "fucking" again. -So?
-臟話 -省省吧 -It's weird. -Get over it.
別慌 我的朋友 跟緊我 There's no need to panic, my friend. Just stay close to me.
我精通殺滅吸血鬼 I'm well-versed in the knowledge of killing vampires.
眾所周知的 尖刺 大蒜 砍頭 圣水 日光 Yeah, so is everyone. Stakes, garlic, beheading, holy water, sunlight...
是個活人就知道 There's not a fucker alive who doesn't know that.
-真的 -沒錯 -Really? -Yeah.
來自書 電影 電視 根本就是基礎知識 It's in books, films, telly. It's pretty common knowledge.
那你料到會有真么多私處嗎 朋友 Were you expecting many sexual encounters, my friend?
大干一炮 Water bomb fight.
那么 復活儀式在哪里舉行 So where's this resurrection likely to be happening?
那里 卡蜜拉地窖 In there. The crypt of Carmilla.
就知道你會這么說 I knew you were gonna say that.
總不外乎幾個地方 Never going to be somewhere un-scary-sounding
像是花園 或古樓 like the garden or scullery?
-古樓 非常嚇人 -啊 -"Scullery" is quite scary. -Eh?
古樓 聽上去象 骷髏 "Scullery" has got the word "skull" in it.
所謂地窖 必有尸體 說得好 As opposed to the crypt, which has got corpses in it. Well observed.
記住 不管慢死還是快死 Remember this: They can die fast or they can die slow
總之得死 but they have to die.
-不能早上再做嗎 -對你朋友那就太遲了 -Can't we do this in the morning? -It may be too late for your friends.
-麗貝卡也一樣 -我的辣塊媽媽 -It will be too late for Rebecca. -No, I'm good.
就這樣了 Well, this is it.
好運 弗萊徹 盡量活著 Good luck, Fletch. Let's try to come back alive.
維克 Vic...
如果我過不了這關 If I don't make it out of this
我有一事想你知 there's one thing I want you to know:
全都怪你 I blame you entirely.
氣數已盡 So this is how your bloodline ends:
象個嬰兒一樣哭吧 Crying like a baby.
祈求活命 Begging for your life.
-請 -吉米 振作 -Please...-Jimmy, pull yourself together.
-別讓她得逞 -不 -Don't give her the satisfaction. -No.
你讓我滿足一下吧 You'll give me my satisfaction.
樂天 你得知道 在她轉變你之前 Lotte, just so you know, before she turns you
我感覺你美麗十足 半吸血鬼 I found you really attractive, pre-vampirism.
是嗎 You did?
-我們有計劃了 -什么 -We have an escape plan. -What?
弗萊徹會救我們 Fletch will save us.
弗萊徹 那個無用鬼 我們是案板上的肉 Fletch? He's fucking useless. We're dead meat.
-嘿 小羊犢子們 -弗萊徹 -Hey! You cheeky prick. -Fletch!
從書里他找到了殺死邪惡的哈皮 Although, to be fair
如果我跑得開 我早就跑了 if I could've avoided being here, I would've.
糟 Oh, damn.
說過那是個無用鬼 I told you he was fucking useless.
-糟 糟 -以前用過嗎 -Damn, damn! -You ever fired that thing before?
-第一次 -看我的 -First time. -Watch and weep. So!
你們想不想吃我呢 You clam-lappers fancy a piece of me then, do you?
-來吧 -殺了他們 -Come on, then. -Kill them.
干 Oh, fuck!
等等 干 Oh, wait up. Fuck this.
你朋友的血已盡 Your friend's blood has already been drawn.
-復活已開始 -我們得逃離 -The resurrection has begun. -We gotta get out of here.
不行 黑暗籠罩了我們 你朋友 麗貝卡 We can't. Darkness is upon us. Your friends, Rebecca...
我覺得我們逃得掉 I reckon I can probably live with that.
以及整個世界 ...and the entire fucking world!
你真會栽罪名給人 是吧 You know how to put a guilt trip on, don't you, you fucker?
我們來吧 Right. Let's do this.
-沒事的 -怎么可能沒事 -It'll be OK. -How can this be OK?
我只想享受生活 All I wanted to do was enjoy life.
徒步 新鮮空氣 啤酒 Hike, get some fresh air, a few pints.
但已不可能了 But no. Nothing's as simple as that, is it?
我們死到臨頭了 And now we're gonna end up dead.
不是 是我死了 你變成吸血鬼 Well, I'm gonna end up dead. You'll be a lesbian.
我還沒有做過愛 And I've not even made love to a man.
地窖在這里 The crypt is through here.
-弗萊徹 -桑提斯匹利 -Fletch! -Spiritus Sancti.
弗萊徹 Fletch!
-桑提斯匹利 -快 -Spiritus sancti. -Hurry up!
-吉米 -回去 撒旦的種 - Jimmy? -Back, you spawn of Satan.
-弗萊徹 -你怎么樣 -Fletch? -How you been?
七上八下 Up and down.
-只有一個辦法 -大雞雞劍 -There's only one solution now. -The big cock sword.
-什么 -說來話長 -What? -Long story.
-給我迪歐多之劍 -你沒帶 -Hand me the sword of Daeldo. -Haven't you got it?
我以為你帶著 I thought you had it.
你難道不知道這多重要 You're going on about how important it is.
我們只等她起來就刺她 All we've got to do is wait for this bitch to rise, stab her,
-你居然忘了劍 -去拿 我擋住 -and you forgot the sword? -Get it. I'll keep 'em off.
-告訴麗貝卡 我愛她 -關于麗貝卡 -Tell Rebecca I love her. -About Rebecca...
-快 你個蠢蛋 -好吧 -Run, you fool! -All right!
耶穌 Jesus!
-地獄的婊子們 -消滅他 -Whores of fucking Hades. Annihilate him.
準備受死吧 Prepare for fucking death!
來吧 傻子們 Come on, you silly fuckers!
-樂天 -游戲時間 親愛的 - Lotte! -It's playtime, darling.
你很好勝 Mmm! You are a feisty one.
我喜歡 I like it. Aah!
-不動 -我去幫她 -It won't budge. -I have to help her.
沒用的 It's not gonna work.
-和上次一樣 -我們來撞它 -What is it with you and doors? -Let's ram it.
你很好味 Mmm! You taste divine.
-鑰匙 -維克拿走了 -Keys. -Vicar's got them.
-毛 -知道如何熱啟動靈車 -What? -Know how to hotwire a hearse?
-不用擔心 -漂亮 走 -Yeah, no worries. -Brilliant. Let's go.
-我當然不懂 你個白癡 -屎 -Of course I don't, you idiot. -Shit.
我先要折磨你 然后轉變你 First I'm going to torture you, then I'm going to turn you.
-你是我的玩物 -絕不 -You'll be my plaything. -Never!
就這樣了 That's it, then.
你有問題 詹姆斯 你是悲觀主義者 The problem with you, James, you're a pessimist.
最好你拿武器 我們注定是普通人 You might want to grab weapons. We could be in for a ruck.
來呀 Come on!
-劍柄上有個雞雞 -很好笑吧 -That sword's got a cock for a handle. -It's funny, isn't it?
那是唯一可摧毀那婊子的東西 It's the only thing that'll destroy that psycho bitch.
非常厲害 年代久遠 It's very powerful and very ancient.
-同志們 -拿好你的劍 -Sort of gay. -So get your own fucking sword.
我知道你永不會反抗我 I knew you would not resist me forever.
抱歉 你不是我喜歡的型 Sorry, you're not my type.
樂天 Lotte.
-辣塊爸爸 -弗萊徹 -Bollocks. -Fletch.
天 Oh, my God!
麥拉倫 McLaren.
-吉米 -心劍合一 -Jimmy! -Throw it like you mean it!
奶奶個熊 Un-fucking-believable!
誰要小便 Is somebody taking the piss?
迪歐多之劍 力量之劍 The sword of Daeldo is a mighty weapon indeed.
維克是對的 Looks like the vic was right.
好像誰都知道我怎么了 發生什么了 Everyone seems to know what's going on bar me. What just happened?
雞雞劍和它的傳奇故事 It's all cock swords and scary stuff and history and that.
-慢點跟你講 -現在就講 -I'll tell you later. -Tell me now.
-慢點 -幾時 -I will. -When?
伙計 冷靜點 Mate, do you want to calm down?
我剛過了繁忙的一晚 我一會兒就告訴你 I've had a bit of a busy night. I'll tell you in a minute.
-挖哦 -看 陽光 -Whoa. -No, look. Sunlight.
詛咒破除了 The curse has lifted.
-她們不再是吸血鬼了 -不是了 -So they're not vampires anymore? -No.
還是女同志嗎 Cool. Are they still lesbians?
干 For fuck's sake.
難以置信 拯救了世界 連個吻都沒有 Unbelievable. Save the day, not even a kiss.
知道啥 算了 Do you know what? Actually, forget it.
忘了吧 忘了吧 走 Forget it. Forget it. Let it go.
走 弗萊徹 你是男一號 Let it go, Fletch. You're the bigger man.
挖哦 真有一套 你居然會熱啟動 Whoa! That's some mighty fine hotwiring skills you got there, lady.
謝謝 下面干嗎 Thanks. Right. Now what?
不知道 回家 Don't know. Go home?
回家 她們抓了我朋友 差點要了我們的命 Go home? They've taken my friends, they very nearly took our lives
直到昨晚我們還難以想象她們真的存在 and we never even dreamed they existed before tonight.
怎可回家睡覺 How can we just go home to our beds?
-她什么意思 -厄 -What's she talking about? -Uh...
這村子獲救了 This village is free
但更多的卡蜜拉 潛伏在世界的角落 but more creatures like Carmilla lurk in the dark corners of the world.
講出去沒人相信我們 No one would believe us if we tell.
我們是了解真相的唯一人選 We are the only people who know the truth.
我們必須消滅威脅 We must go out there and fight this menace.
你建議我們做女同志吸血鬼殺手 Are you suggesting we become lesbian vampire killers?
如果行得通的話 呀 If that's what it takes,ja.
很好 此刻我已經無牽無掛 所以算我一個 Well, I ain't got anything else on in particular at the moment, so I'm in.
-吉米 -我不知道 -Jim? -I don't know.
來吧 你的血性在呢 那就是你的命 Oh, come on. It's in your blood, your destiny, all that shit.
-赫 -晚點告訴你 -Huh? -I'll tell you later.
-來吧 你最好 -加入我們 -Come on. You might as well. -Join us.
女同志吸血鬼殺手 就是了 出發 Lesbian vampire killers, it is. Let's ride.